Dr. Nydia Conrad

10/23/2026

10/22/2026

Criticism is one of the quickest way to poison your relationship.

10/22/2026

Ever leave a first date sure it went badly?

The research says you’re probably wrong.

Across five studies, people consistently guessed that the person they had just talked to liked them less than that person actually did. Researchers call it the liking gap (Boothby et al., 2018).

Chemistry feels like luck, but the studies point to a few things you can actually do:

Go one layer deeper. In 12 experiments with more than 1,800 people, conversations with strangers went better than anyone expected. The biggest surprise was on personal topics, which people assumed would be awkward (Kardas, Kumar, & Epley, 2022).

Follow up on what they just said. People who asked more questions were better liked, and speed daters who asked more questions were more likely to get a second date (Huang et al., 2017).

Ask anyway. If you want to see them again, say so. They likely enjoyed it more than you think.

Small choices. Big impact.

Dr. Nydia Conrad, Licensed Psychologist
casalucida.net (link in bio)

chemistry firstdate relationshiptips

10/21/2026

10/18/2026

69% of conflicts between partners are perpetual. Meaning the cause will not change. They come from lasting differences in personality and needs, and they never fully get resolved (Gottman & Silver, 1999).

If most fights can’t be solved, the skill worth building is repair.

Repair starts with owning what you did, without the explanation of why it made sense at the time.

It requires finding out how your words actually landed, since your partner is the one living with the impact.

It means apologizing without defending yourself. An apology with a “but” in the middle is a rebuttal wearing a nicer outfit.

It also takes two people. One offers the repair, and the other has to accept it, which can feel riskier than staying angry.

The same pattern shows up at work. Leadership partnerships and teams have their own perpetual conflicts, and how people repair after a bad meeting shapes the working relationship more than the disagreement itself.

10/18/2026

According to John and Julie Gottman, the couples who last are the ones who know how to repair after a fight. Here is what a real repair looks like, and why it takes both of you.

10/18/2026

Coregulation is when partners help each other calm down during a stressful moment, well before anyone tries to fix the problem. Couples who can do this for each other tend to report fewer conflicts, better health, and more satisfaction in the relationship (Gottman & Levenson, 1992).