01/09/2026
Today is National Forgiveness Day in the US (which I didn't know until I was researching the significance of this day for something else)! What a glorious day! Forgiveness is about freedom! First, to know that God has forgiven us for every sin, shortcoming, and misdeed and loves us infinitely is of staggering importance (actually, and technically, God in the New Covenant of the death of Jesus made the Old Testament law and its requirements obsolete other than as a rubric, but more on that another time...). Second, to consider that we can offer forgiveness to others who have hurt us, which frees us as much as it frees them, is a gift beyond measure to them and us. Third, and this is one of the hardest ones, to know that we can and should forgive ourselves is incredibly liberating. Finally, acknowledging that others can forgive us gives not only freedom, but hope for restoration of relationship(s) and reconnection.
But there is a deeper foundation for forgiveness than simply freedom (which is such a gift in itself), and it comes from what I have labeled The 4 Pillars of Truth About Humans. They are:
God made me whole and complete. This is true no matter what I am experiencing right now (illness, financial setback, criticism, etc.). I can experience damage, loss, or difficulty, but none of those things makes the person God created me to be defective or deficient.
God made me 100% acceptable. This is true no matter who does or does not accept me, or what they communicate to me in their words or behavior. Another person's acceptance or rejection cannot determine the acceptability God gave me in creating me.
God made me infinitely worthy. This is true no matter what I have done or am doing. No achievement or accomplishment, no matter how great, makes me more worthy than I am as a unique creation of God. Alternatively, no misdeed, crime, failure, etc., makes me any less than the infinitely worthy person God made me. This does not mean our behavior is irrelevant or without consequences; it means our behavior does not determine our worth.
God made me completely safe. This does not mean we cannot experience pain, loss, injury, suffering, etc., which all of us do. It means that the person God made me to be cannot be damaged or diminished by those experiences. Our bodies, brains, circumstances, and relationships can certainly be injured or damaged, sometimes profoundly, but injury does not make the person less whole, acceptable, or worthy. And our brains are designed to actively work to repair and restore damage of all kinds, given their level of fuel and information (again, as contained in the other Pillars).
What does this have to do with forgiveness, you may be asking?
Good question! First, God's forgiveness and restoration, and the 4 Pillars, are intimately tied to God's creation of us and corresponding love for us. Notice that none of the 4 Pillars are dependent on our behavior. They are not something we earn by doing the right things, nor can we lose them by doing the wrong things. There is tremendous freedom in that.
Second, because nobody can damage or diminish the person God made each of us to be, we can offer forgiveness freely. This does not mean that people cannot hurt us. They obviously can. People can cause physical injury, emotional pain, loss, betrayal, damaged relationships, and enormous suffering. Forgiveness does not require pretending otherwise. What others cannot do is make us less whole as persons, less acceptable, less worthy, or less who God created us to be. Those things are not contingent on or connected to what anybody else does or does not do to us, with us, for us, etc.
Third, because nothing we do can diminish our fundamental worth or make us defective as persons, we can fully forgive ourselves for whatever we have done. This does not minimize what we have done or eliminate our responsibility for it. In fact, I think it does just the opposite. We can acknowledge mistakes, failures, and even intentional disrespect, dehumanization, or infliction of pain without having to conclude that those actions have made us defective, deficient, unacceptable, unworthy, worthless, or fundamentally unsafe.
And this gives us tremendous freedom to acknowledge what we have done and ask others for forgiveness. We do not have to defend, rationalize, or minimize our behavior in order to preserve our worth because our worth was never dependent upon that behavior in the first place. Our wholeness/completeness, acceptability, worthiness, and safety are not at risk and cannot be at risk in any way. We can therefore take responsibility for what we have done without making what we have done the definition of who we are.
Finally, understanding that others can and often will forgive us offers hope for restoration of connection and relationship. Where this one gets tricky is understanding that others may not choose to forgive us in the moment or ever. Does this mean we are diminished or unworthy of forgiveness? Not at all! The 4 Pillars are still completely true, whether anybody else chooses to forgive us or works to restore our relationship. Their refusal to forgive may affect the relationship, and it may be painful, but it does not alter who we are or our worth. This means we can even forgive the other person for not forgiving us.
On this Day of Forgiveness, let us be grateful for the incredible power of giving and receiving forgiveness from others and ourselves. Forgiveness does not require denying injury, minimizing wrongdoing, avoiding responsibility, or pretending that painful things did not happen. Instead, it gives us the freedom to acknowledge those things honestly because none of them can determine our fundamental worth.
And let us also acknowledge that the ability and freedom to forgive come first from God's creation of us and then from His love for us.