I Am Hope In The Chaos, 3769 W 200 N, West Point, UT (2026)

10/23/2026

It’s not a bad life. It’s just a bad day. 💙

And sometimes that bad day turns into a hard week or a difficult season. I know how exhausting that can feel. But how we feel today doesn’t decide how the rest of our story will go.

Take a breath. Rest if you need to. Reach for someone who can help you through it. Moving forward can happen in small steps, at your own pace.

There is always hope in the chaos. Let’s keep finding it together, one day at a time. 🦋

I Am Hope In The Chaos

10/21/2026

Today, I was put in limbo… and I’m still waiting for answers.

The emotional wear and tear of almost losing your life to a spontaneous dissection heart attack at such a young age, now facing heart failure, and waiting to understand what comes next is a lot. I’ll admit, this has been hard on me and the people who love me.

Mental health is such a fragile thing. It’s affected by so much beyond the diagnoses we live with, like bipolar disorder, ADHD, PTSD, and others.

A heart attack. Losing a friend. Work. School. Judgment from others. Relationships. Financial stress. Even everyday things like driving or scrolling through social media.

Our mental health is affected by EVERYTHING.

And sometimes, the weight of all those things adds up before we realize how much we’re carrying. We keep showing up, answering messages, taking care of responsibilities… while inside, we’re overwhelmed and trying to figure out how to get through the day.

That’s why kindness matters. Why checking in matters. Why giving ourselves permission to say, “I’m having a hard time, and I need support,” matters.

I’m grateful to be here. I’m also struggling with how much has happened and how much is still unknown. There is room for both.

Today, I’m reminding myself—and maybe you need this reminder too—that we don’t have to figure everything out at once. We can tell someone how we’re really feeling. Let someone help. Take a break without having to earn it first.

I don’t have all the answers tonight. But I can take care of myself while I wait.

Maybe that’s our small step today: choosing one thing that makes what we’re carrying a little lighter. 💙

There is always hope in the chaos. Even while we’re waiting. 🦋

10/16/2026

When it rains, it pours. But what do you do when it just KEEPS pouring?

Another setback. Another thing you never saw coming. Another day of wondering how much more you can handle.

Yeah. I feel you. 💙

When life keeps throwing things at you, hope can feel almost impossible to find. I’ve had those days, too.

Being diagnosed with bipolar disorder was a huge shock to me. But after years of struggling without answers or proper treatment, that diagnosis gave me a place to start. A way to understand myself. A chance to get the help I needed.

Living with bipolar disorder still takes work. And life has kept coming.

Recently, I had a heart attack I never saw coming. I also faced the devastating outcome of a court case that meant so much to me. I’m trying to process all of that while healing physically and emotionally.

Chaos? Absolutely.
Still trying to find hope? Absolutely.

Some days, that hope is harder to hold onto. Some days, I need someone to sit with me and help me find it again. I’m grateful for the people who keep showing up.

And that’s what I want to leave with you today:

NEVER GIVE UP. THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE IN THE CHAOS.

Today, let’s take one small step toward finding it: tell someone you trust how you’re really doing.

Even if the words are simply, “I’m having a hard time, and I could use some support.”

You deserve someone in your corner while you find your way through this.

Are you taking that step with me? 🦋

10/11/2026

Behind every mask is a story. And that story is not over. ❤️

I spent my evening at the Red Sneaker Gala supporting my incredible friend Elysia (❤️ Elysia (Ee-lee-sha) Resilience & Su***de Prevention ) and the (The Hope Hero Hope Hero Foundation’s work to save young lives through su***de prevention. You all know how deeply this mission matters to me.

After spending almost my entire life fighting suicidality, I know what it means to need someone to remind you that you matter. That you are loved. That there is still more of your story to live.

I’ve spent these last several years trying to help others believe those words. Helping sponsor and support this beautiful masquerade meant more to me than I can express.

Behind the masks were real people, real struggles, and stories still unfolding. The donations raised help young people become ambassadors for su***de prevention, carrying that message of hope to others who need it.

Hearing the stories shared tonight touched my heart more than I expected. And after everything these last two weeks have brought, I needed that reminder, too.

My story is not over.
I matter.
I am loved.
And I can keep going.

Thank you, Elysia and Hope Hero Foundation, for helping young people see a future worth staying for.

Thank you to those who remind me I’m never alone. To those who have helped keep me here during the hardest moments of my life. To everyone who has been part of my journey. And to everyone helping someone else believe they matter.

To whoever needs these words tonight: YOU MATTER. Your story is not over. And you deserve support as you keep writing it. 🦋

***dePrevention I Am Hope In The Chaos

10/10/2026

You shouldn’t have to reach a breaking point to be taken seriously.

Read that again. 💚

Today is World Mental Health Day, and I want us to remember the people behind the conversations.

The friend who makes everyone laugh.
The parent who keeps showing up.
The coworker who seems to have it together.
The person who finally says, “I’m struggling,” after months of trying to find the words.

You can see someone every day and still only see a small part of what they’re carrying.

I know from lived experience how much courage it can take to ask for help. And how much it matters when someone actually listens.

That compassion needs to extend to the conditions and symptoms people understand less, too. People living with bipolar disorder, PTSD, borderline personality disorder, or psychosis deserve dignity, support, and access to care.

Today, let’s practice words that make honesty feel safer:

“I believe you.”
“You don’t have to explain it perfectly.”
“Would you like me to listen or help you find support?”
“I’ll check in again tomorrow.”

Then follow through. Listen to people’s experiences. Include their voices in decisions about their care. Keep showing up after the awareness day ends.

And if you’re struggling today: you deserve support before things get worse. Even if you’re still functioning. Even if someone else “has it harder.” Even if you don’t know what to call what you’re feeling.

Your pain deserves care. Your voice deserves space. Your life deserves hope.

There is always hope in the chaos. 🦋

Share this as a reminder: we can help make it safer for someone to say, “I’m not okay.”

10/09/2026

“Moody.”
“Dramatic.”
“Too sensitive.”

Sometimes we label people faster than we learn what they’re living with.

Here’s what people often miss about bipolar disorder and trauma:

🧠 BIPOLAR DISORDER AFFECTS MORE THAN MOOD.
Episodes can change energy, sleep, concentration, and behavior. They generally unfold over days or weeks, sometimes longer—far beyond ordinary emotional ups and downs.

⚡ MANIA CAN BE EASY TO MISREAD.
Someone may seem unusually energized or confident. Mania can also involve intense irritability, racing thoughts, impulsive decisions, and needing much less sleep. What looks like “finally doing better” may need attention. (nimh.nih.gov)

🚨 THE DANGER CAN END WHILE THE ALARM KEEPS GOING.
For someone with PTSD, a reminder of trauma can bring back fear and physical reactions even when they’re safe. Symptoms can include nightmares, avoiding reminders, feeling constantly on guard, or feeling emotionally disconnected. (nimh.nih.gov)

🔎 SIMILAR SYMPTOMS CAN HAVE DIFFERENT EXPLANATIONS.
Bipolar disorder and PTSD can both involve irritability, sleep difficulties, and trouble concentrating. Understanding the pattern over time matters. A single reaction or social media checklist can’t tell the whole story. (nimh.nih.gov, nimh.nih.gov)

My lived experience is one reason I care so deeply about getting this conversation right.

Because “just calm down” gives someone very little to work with.

“I believe you.”
“What would help right now?”
“Would you like help finding support?”

Those words make room for an honest conversation.

Learn the symptoms before you judge the person.

Save this. Share it. Someone you care about may have been searching for the words to explain it.

There is always hope in the chaos. 🦋

10/04/2026

“Are you feeling better?”

Four simple words that I’m still learning how to answer.

Friends and family keep checking in on me, and I’m so grateful for that love. Their question has also made me think about what healing really means.

I’m recovering from a heart attack, surgery, ischemia, and severe pancreatitis. I’m also living with PTSD from my kidnapping and sexual assault, and the heartbreak of how my court case ended.

Some days, yes. I feel a little better.

Feeling better doesn’t mean I’m finished healing.

My heart needs ongoing care. My mind is still processing what happened. These experiences have changed how I care for myself, physically AND mentally.

I can be grateful I survived and still be scared.
I can find joy and still have hard days.
I can move forward and still need someone beside me.

All of those things can exist together.

For me, healing is something I’ll keep making room for throughout my life. Through every challenge, every season, and every new version of myself.

And if you’re healing too, please hear this:

You don’t owe anyone a deadline for feeling okay.

A hard day doesn’t erase your progress. Needing support again doesn’t mean you’ve failed. And taking time to rest can be part of moving forward.

You’re allowed to get back on your feet while still tending to what hurts.

Please keep checking on the people you love—even after they start smiling again. Keep making room for an honest answer.

And if you’re the one hurting, take today one small step at a time. Let someone help you take it.

You don’t have to finish healing before you deserve to enjoy your life.

There is still room for joy.
For connection.
For hope in the chaos.

One day. One step.

To live. To be here. To . 💙🦋

10/02/2026

Someone you love may be exhausted from surviving things they’ve never told you about.

They might be the funny one.
The dependable one.
The one who checks on everybody else.

And they may be quietly wishing someone would check on them, too.

Trauma has so many faces.

Growing up afraid in your own home.
Being controlled by someone you trusted.
Abuse. Neglect. Sexual assault.
A sudden, devastating loss.
A medical emergency that left you wondering whether you’d survive.
Watching someone you love fight for their life.

Sometimes it’s one moment that changes everything. Sometimes it’s years of having to protect yourself.

And afterward, even ordinary things can feel hard.

Answering a message. Trusting someone. Going to an appointment. Asking for help. Believing you’re allowed to have needs.

I’ve lived through different kinds of trauma, and I’m still learning what healing looks like. I know how much can be happening beneath a smile.

You don’t need every detail of someone’s story to treat them with care.

Check on the person who always seems strong.
Ask how they’re doing—and leave room for an honest answer.
Listen without rushing them.
Follow up after everyone else has gone back to their routine.

And if you’re the person carrying all of this: you deserve that same care. You deserve support, patience, and space to heal at your own pace.

Share this for someone who hasn’t found the words yet. It might help them feel understood—or help someone they love understand them.

There is always hope in the chaos. 🦋

10/02/2026

My friend Bob Lane is known as “Elevator Bob” because twice a week, he sits beside an elevator at a prostate cancer clinic, making himself available to patients and families who need someone who understands.

After more than a decade of living with prostate cancer himself, he shares his experience, listens, and reminds others they don’t have to face this alone. 💙

Hear his story in his interview on Man Up to Cancer:

🔗 https://manuptocancer.captivate.fm/episode/elevator-bob-prostate-cancer?

09/30/2026

Friday, my daughter called 911. I was having a heart attack.

A nearly 100% blockage in my heart. An emergency stent. I almost didn’t make it.

I came home Sunday.

Yesterday, just a couple of days later, I was admitted again for ischemia and severe pancreatitis.

I hadn’t even processed the first hospital stay.

I spend so much time telling other people to ask for help and let someone support them. This week, I’m having to take my own advice.

I’m grateful to be alive. I’m also scared. Exhausted. Overwhelmed.

And I need room to say all of that.

Please keep checking on the person who made it home.

The person who posted that they survived.
The person who usually encourages everyone else.
The person who is still trying to process what happened while their body is trying to heal.

Ask how they’re doing emotionally. Give them time to answer. Keep showing up.

And check on the people who love them, too. Their children, partners, family, and friends. The ones who called for help or waited for updates, terrified for someone they love. They need support and room to process what happened, too.

And if you’re that person, you deserve support through this part, too. You can be grateful for your life and still need help getting through today.

That’s where I am right now.

Still here. Still healing. Letting myself be cared for.

Share this as a reminder to check on someone who’s recovering—and the people who care about them. Your message could be the space they need to finally say, “This has been really hard.”

Take care of you. You are worth it.

There is always hope in the chaos. 🦋

I Am Hope In The Chaos

I Am Hope In The Chaos

10/23/2026

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