10/20/2026
When a teen says “I don’t know,” it’s rarely a dead end. Often it means “I haven’t figured it out yet” or “I’m not sure it’s safe to say” or “no one’s ever asked me like this before.” 🤍
Our job isn’t to get the answer. It’s to build the kind of relationship where answers can show up over time. Here’s how, for parents AND therapists:
1️⃣ **Be curious, not urgent.**
Teens can feel when we need an answer right NOW. Slow down, and let them know there’s no wrong response and no deadline.
2️⃣ **Name feelings out loud, including your own.**
“I felt really frustrated today and needed a minute.” When feelings are spoken about casually and safely at home or in session, teens learn they’re normal and nameable.
3️⃣ **Connect without an agenda.**
Car rides, late-night snacks, shared shows. Trust is built in the moments that *aren’t* about getting them to open up, and those moments are often when they do.
4️⃣ **Stay steady when they share.**
If a teen opens up and gets a lecture, panic, or a fix-it plan, they learn to stop sharing. Lead with “thank you for telling me,” and save the problem-solving for later or for when they ask. We love the mantra of “do you need help, heard, or held with this feeling?”
5️⃣ **Keep the door open and mean it.**
“You don’t have to know right now. I’m here whenever.” Then follow through. Teens remember who was safe to come back to.
Feelings take time to find words. Connection is what gives them room to grow. 🌱