Upstate Mary

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Upstate Mary Female Grown. Women + Cancer Survivor Owned. We give back
Farm to Bedroom™ plant-powered wellness. OB/GYN recommended.

SHOP | upstatemary.com

10/15/2026

Since my breast cancer diagnosis in 2014, I’ve helped hundreds of survivors explore their relationship with their bodies. I believe self-kindness can open space for pleasure, connection, and feeling at home in yourself. I just returned from a retreat in Palm Springs, and this still feels like some of the most meaningful work I can do.

When I was diagnosed at 36, I was scared and felt betrayed by my body. I asked my oncologist how treatment might affect my s*x life. He seemed caught off guard and said, “You won’t have the energy for that!” But I needed to know. Our bodies and intimacy matter, even when survival takes center stage.

A diagnosis can bring fear, decisions, appointments, and exhausting advocacy. In that intensity, it’s easy to lose touch with yourself. Pleasure isn’t frivolous, and it doesn’t have to mean s*x. It can be a warm cup of tea, sunlight on your skin, music, rest without guilt, gentle movement, a hand held, or a moment of mindful breathing. Small moments of comfort and connection can help you notice what feels safe and good, at your own pace.

Cancer and its treatment can change how your body feels, including during intimacy. Dryness, discomfort, body image shifts, or fear may make pleasure feel far away. You deserve support. Talk with your care team about physical changes, and give yourself permission to explore without pressure. Intimacy can be conversation, cuddling, laughter, or simply being present—not performance.

I know how hard it can be to turn toward yourself when you’re overwhelmed. Start with one small thing that soothes or delights you. Your body is still yours, and pleasure can be part of caring for yourself through diagnosis, treatment, and survivorship. I’m 12 years out—hallelujah!

I’m a breast cancer survivor and co-founder of Upstate Mary, a plant-based intimacy brand. If this is your topic right now, comment “My Pleasure” and I’ll let you know when my next Pleasure & Play workshop opens.

At Upstate Mary, we celebrate the power of plants and the beauty of self-care. Our Farm to Bedroom™ collection is designed to support pleasure and connection at every stage of life. Check us out & tell

10/15/2026

Since my breast cancer diagnosis in 2014, I’ve helped hundreds of survivors explore their relationship with their bodies. I believe self-kindness can open space for pleasure, connection, and feeling at home in yourself. I just returned from a retreat in Palm Springs, and this still feels like some of the most meaningful work I can do.

When I was diagnosed at 36, I was scared and felt betrayed by my body. I asked my oncologist how treatment might affect my s*x life. He seemed caught off guard and said, “You won’t have the energy for that!” But I needed to know. Our bodies and intimacy matter, even when survival takes center stage.

A diagnosis can bring fear, decisions, appointments, and exhausting advocacy. In that intensity, it’s easy to lose touch with yourself. Pleasure isn’t frivolous, and it doesn’t have to mean s*x. It can be a warm cup of tea, sunlight on your skin, music, rest without guilt, gentle movement, a hand held, or a moment of mindful breathing. Small moments of comfort and connection can help you notice what feels safe and good, at your own pace.

Cancer and its treatment can change how your body feels, including during intimacy. Dryness, discomfort, body image shifts, or fear may make pleasure feel far away. You deserve support. Talk with your care team about physical changes, and give yourself permission to explore without pressure. Intimacy can be conversation, cuddling, laughter, or simply being present—not performance.

I know how hard it can be to turn toward yourself when you’re overwhelmed. Start with one small thing that soothes or delights you. Your body is still yours, and pleasure can be part of caring for yourself through diagnosis, treatment, and survivorship. I’m 12 years out—hallelujah!

I’m a breast cancer survivor and co-founder of Upstate Mary, a plant-based intimacy brand. If this is your topic right now, comment “My Pleasure” and I’ll let you know when my next Pleasure & Play workshop opens.

At Upstate Mary, we celebrate the power of plants and the beauty of self-care. Our Farm to Bedroom™ collection is designed to support pleasure and connection at every stage of life. Check us out & tell a friend! 😘


09/29/2026

Upstate Mary is all about plant powered wellness. Our Farm to Bedroom™ collection is formulated with full-spectrum C*D + MCT coconut oil and a blend of organic botanicals. Based in New York, our products are named after high peaks of the Catskill Mountains because we seek to elevate your pleasure and take you to your personal summit! Our collection of C*D l***s and suppositories can help address a range of needs, from relieving pain, enhancing blood flow + boosting daily lubrication. With every purchase, Upstate Mary donates to the National Breast Cancer Foundation and One Tree Planted.

Partner is optional, pleasure is not!

09/28/2026

Survivorship community is everything. One thing you don’t anticipate when you hear the words, “You have cancer,” is all the people who will come into your life as a result.

Since I explanted in 2019, the Flat community has embraced me in ways I’ll always be grateful for. Every time we get together, it feels like no time has passed. There’s an understanding, and a kind of connection that can be hard to put into words.

Last weekend, some of my west coast flat activist friends came to New York City for an advanced screening of Re/Construction. This new feature-length documentary from filmmakers Samantha Sanders and Paula Froehle highlights the stories of women in the Flat community around the world as they confront systemic bias in medicine and fight for the right to choose what happens to their own bodies after mastectomy.

I wasn’t prepared for the wave of grief that would come, seeing and hearing my friend Christy Avila who passed from metastatic breast cancer last year. God I miss her! Seeing her in the film with her son, hearing her laugh, it reminded me how fleeting and precarious survivorship can be.

In a few weeks Upstate Mary is headed to Palm Springs to celebrate International Flat Day! I can’t wait to gather with this community again, share some joy, and honor the many ways we find our way forward together. 💗

Know thyself. 💚This Gynecologic Cancer Awareness Month, get familiar with your body, its patterns, and what feels typica...
09/17/2026

Know thyself. 💚

This Gynecologic Cancer Awareness Month, get familiar with your body, its patterns, and what feels typical for you. If something changes, don’t ignore it. You know your body best.

Learn the signs and when to speak with a healthcare provider.

There are five main types of gynecologic cancer: cervical, ovarian, uterine, vaginal and vulvar. Their symptoms aren’t always obvious. In fact, some can look a lot like things we might otherwise brush off as hormonal changes, digestive issues, menopause, stress or simply getting older.

Knowing yourself means paying attention to your own baseline. It doesn’t mean obsessing over every little change. It means becoming familiar enough with your body that you notice when something is new, unusual or persistent.

09/16/2026

Summer doesn’t have to end just because the calendar says so.

The slower mornings. The soft light. The permission to just be for ten extra minutes before the day takes over — that’s not a season, it’s a practice. And it’s one you can carry with you straight into fall.

Here’s how we’re holding onto it:

🌿 Start before the noise does. Five minutes with your coffee, your feet on the porch, no phone — before anything else claims your attention.

🌿 Build a pocket, not a routine. You don’t need a whole new morning ritual. Just one small, sacred window that’s yours. A stretch. A breath. A window open to the fog.

🌿 Let your body set the pace, not your schedule. Fall pulls us back into hustle fast. Notice when you’re rushing your own peace, and slow back down on purpose.

What are you doing to extend the soft summer vibes into these next few weeks? Tell us below 👇

06/29/2026

For generations, women’s health has been expected to wait.

Wait for answers.
Wait for research.
Wait to be believed.

Today, more researchers are exploring the potential role cannabinoids may play in supporting women’s wellness—but there’s still so much we don’t know.

At Upstate Mary, we’re encouraged by the growing conversation. Not because we believe there’s a miracle ingredient, but because we believe women deserve more options, more research, and more honest conversations about their bodies.

Pleasure. Comfort. Connection. These aren’t luxuries—they’re part of living well.

Here’s to asking better questions, funding better research, and creating a future where women’s wellness is no longer an afterthought.

*DWellness

06/27/2026

Pleasure isn’t just something we find. It’s something we make space for.

A quiet morning by the lake. A deep breath. Bare feet in the grass. A moment to come home to yourself.

Slow down. Soften. Let your body remember what it feels like to simply be.

Because pleasure belongs in every part of life.

06/18/2026

Say hello to Wildcat, the pleasure routine you didn’t realize has been missing. Treat yourself to a lush blend of all-natural + organic botanicals designed to boost blood flow, heighten sensation and melt away tension—so you can feel everything. Inspired by the untamed beauty of the Catskills, Wildcat invites you to relax, explore, and let pleasure take the lead. Go ahead—give in to the wild! 🔥

05/30/2026

We LOVE meeting new and former customers IN THE WILD! Making space for conversations about pleasure, peri/menopause, and turning people on to our clean & shame-free C🐝D products—that’s what we live for!

*xualwellness

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Woodstock, NY

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