09/17/2026
Well… I think I’m finally ready to share our story. 🤍
On September 7th, Labor Day, our little Sage Theodore Pennings decided he was ready to make his entrance into the world… **five weeks early.** 🥹
And absolutely nothing about his arrival went the way I had planned.
I had dreamed of a home birth at Heaven Sent Home Birth. I envisioned an unmedicated water birth, candles lit, sage burning, a calm and peaceful space, my people around me, and the freedom to surrender completely to the process.
I had prepared for this. I had taken the classes. I had changed my entire training program to prepare my body for labor. I had worked on mobility, my hips, my core, my pelvic floor, my breathing, and most importantly, learning to relax and trust my body.
So when Sunday morning came and I started having what felt like period cramps, I didn't think much of it. I had felt something similar a couple weeks before and it passed.
A few hours later, I noticed some spotting.
That got my attention.
After breakfast, I finally told Matthew, “If this doesn't get any better, maybe we should just go to the hospital to make sure everything is okay.”
I still wasn't thinking, *I'm having a baby today.*
We got to the hospital and they checked me.
2 centimeters.
An hour later… 3.
An hour after that… 8 centimeters.
At that point I told the nurse, “I'm ready to push.”
😂
And about 20–30 minutes later, our baby boy was here.
I didn't get my water birth.
I didn't get my candles.
I didn't get my calm, quiet room.
I didn't even finish my birthing class.
Instead, I found myself in a hospital room surrounded by people, monitors, doctors and nurses, trying to bring my baby into the world while everything around me felt like pure chaos. I was still able to do unmedicated and just pump electrolytes through me which probably helped me being able to hold my positions...
But I'll be honest… that broke my heart.
I had spent so much time envisioning that moment, and suddenly none of it was happening the way I had hoped.
But then something happened that I will never forget.
A doula was able to come meet us at the hospital, and she helped bring me back to myself.
She coached my breathing. She changed cold, wet washcloths on the back of my neck. She helped me relax completely between contractions. She listened to my body and guided me into different positions.
I started on the floor on all fours, eventually moved to the bed, held onto the back of it, swayed my hips, breathed, relaxed, and surrendered.
Then she brought out the squat bar.
And I turned around, got into a squat, and held that position for what felt like forever.
And suddenly I realized…
This is exactly what I trained for.
I had literally changed my entire training program to prepare my body for this moment.
And when the moment came, my body knew what to do.
I breathed.
I relaxed.
I trusted.
I pushed with PURPOSE. 😂
And that little boy came flying out.
When Sage was born, he was wrapped tightly in his umbilical cord and was very limp at first, which scared the absolute hell out of us.
They stimulated him, got him crying and moving, and then we got to see just how tiny our little guy really was.
4 pounds 11 ounces.
17 inches long.
Five weeks early.
Our tiny little Sage. 🤍
There were some scary moments after that. Some twitching and eye movements that had us worried, and eventually we were transferred to the NICU for further testing.
He had scans.
He had tests.
He had monitors.
He had nurses watching over him around the clock.
And slowly, everything started settling.
His nervous system simply wasn't fully developed yet because he decided to make his grand entrance a little earlier than expected.
He passed every test.
And after a week in the NICU…
we finally got to bring our baby home. 🥹🤍
Was it the birth I wanted?
No.
And I think it's okay to admit that.
I can be incredibly grateful for a healthy baby AND still grieve the birth experience I had envisioned.
Both things can be true.
I wanted to bring him into the world peacefully, intentionally and surrounded by the atmosphere I had created in my head a hundred times.
Instead, he taught me something I apparently still needed to learn…
Sometimes surrender doesn't mean surrendering to the birth you planned.
Sometimes it means surrendering to the birth you're given.
I couldn't control the room.
I couldn't control the timeline.
I couldn't control the hospital.
I couldn't control the NICU.
I couldn't even control what happened to my placenta. 😅
But I could breathe.
I could trust my body.
I could trust the people helping me.
And most importantly…
I could trust that getting my baby here safely mattered more than getting my perfect birth.
And now we're home.
Our little four-pound miracle is healthy, happy, and slowly getting stronger every day.
Our lives look completely different now.
But somehow, it feels exactly like where we're supposed to be.
Welcome home, Sage Theodore. 🤍
You may have come five weeks early…
but you arrived exactly when you were meant to. 🥹
Labor Day will forever mean something completely different to us. ❤️🩹
