30/04/2023
I SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE I CAN'T MOVE ...
How we live subconsciously, trauma responses and learning to conform. An older post on my personal account but edited with new revelations
***
My feet felt so restricted in these shoes. Trying them on 10 years after they were bought they were so uncomfortable and to be honest the feeling of being constrained was huge.
I started making links between our footwear and life (deep I know but that's what I do).
The photo was inspired by and I had no qualms about taking a knife to these just to
If there has ever been a metaphor for forcing ourselves into others expectations to be accepted, then it must be what is considered 'acceptable' footwear.
What these shoes say to me;
•Change yourself to suit me...
•What I stand for is accepted by the majority so you need to follow suit...
•When you act how I want, it won't feel natural...
•Natural isn't normal and normal isn't natural
•There are limits to what you can do and where you can go
•Over time you will lose awareness and I will change the shape of you.
There are some deep things there, but just think about what it feels like to have to change yourself to meet others' expectations.
We have all done it at some point haven't we? We learned it at such a young age, how to change ourselves to control others reactions to us...
When we conform, we must ask, who or what are we really changing for?
I know for years I wasn't being or living authentically. Subconsciously I knew it and my behaviours eluded to this.
Realistically this is trauma response from growing up, fawning to control others reactions. I learned it at a young age, subconsciously of course.
BUT...
Taking my shoes off now, I understand it's more than physical, it's about freeing more than my feet... it's reconnecting with the earth, refunding my place in nature and rebuilding a connection with myself... I am beginning to be me again.
👣
