Shelley Hall

25/10/2026

I don’t often share this part of my personal history. But when I work with grieving children, I am reminded of how much adults may miss, despite their best intentions.

Losing someone is difficult enough. For a child who is still developing an understanding of death, the confusion, fear and changes that follow can be particularly overwhelming.

My own experiences have contributed to my passion in this area of psychology.

I’ve shared part of my story in these slides, in the hopes it will encourage adults to look more closely at the children who are grieving alongside them.

I’ve spoken about childhood grief, trauma and BWRT in a podcast with Mariette Snyman. I’ll share the link in the comments.

If you’ve experienced a significant loss as a child, what did you wish the adults around you had understood?

23/10/2026

22/10/2026

Even when you understand what you're experiencing, things may still feel difficult.

You may find yourself repeatedly struggling with the same patterns.
You may feel overwhelmed by emotions.
You may be finding everyday responsibilities increasingly difficult to manage. Or you may simply wish you had a safe, confidential space to make sense of what you're experiencing.

Seeking counselling doesn't mean you've failed to cope. You don't have to wait until everything feels unbearable before reaching out.

Support can be about having someone help you understand what's happening, explore patterns, develop healthier ways of coping, and work towards the changes that matter to you.

You don't have to carry everything by yourself.

Professional counselling can provide a structured, confidential space to explore concerns, understand patterns and work towards appropriate personal goals. Seeking support can be part of caring for your mental wellbeing—not evidence that you have failed.

What might become easier if you didn't have to make sense of everything on your own?

If you've been considering counselling, you don't have to have everything figured out before taking the first step. You can reach out to explore whether counselling may be appropriate for you.

www.shelleyhall.co.za

20/10/2026

Our minds produce thoughts all day long.
Some are useful.
Some are neutral.
Some are uncomfortable.
And some can feel incredibly convincing.

But having a thought doesn't automatically make it true.
“I’m going to mess this up.”
“They're probably upset with me.”
“I should have handled that differently.”
“Something is bound to go wrong.”

Instead of immediately asking:
“Is this true?”
It can be helpful to first ask:
“What kind of thought is this?”
Is it a prediction?
An assumption?
A fear?
A memory?
A possibility?

Creating a little space between yourself and a thought doesn't mean ignoring reality or pretending everything is fine.
It simply gives you an opportunity to consider the thought rather than automatically reacting to it.

You are allowed to pause before deciding what a thought means.

Thoughts are mental events, not automatically facts or instructions. Noticing thoughts with some distance can create an opportunity to respond more deliberately.

You can notice a thought without immediately accepting it as truth.

www.shelleyhall.co.za

19/10/2026

18/10/2026

Sometimes thinking things through is helpful.

You identify the problem.
You consider your options.
You decide what you can do next.
But thinking can become a loop.

You go over the same conversation.
You imagine every possible outcome.
You ask yourself “what if?” again and again. You search for an answer that may not exist yet.

The difference isn't always obvious.
One gentle question to ask yourself is:
“Is there something I can actually do about this right now?”

If there is, you might be able to identify one small action.

If there isn't, continuing to think about it may not give you the certainty you're looking for.

You don't have to solve every uncertainty with more thinking.

Maybe the next step is simply recognising:
“There isn't anything I can do about this right now.”

And allowing yourself to return to the present moment.

Problem-solving generally involves identifying a situation and considering actionable steps. Worry can involve repeatedly thinking about possible problems, particularly when there is little immediate action available.

16/10/2026

Uncertainty can be uncomfortable.
When we don't know what is coming, our minds may try to fill in the gaps. We might replay conversations, imagine possible outcomes, seek reassurance, or constantly look for ways to prepare.

This doesn't mean something is wrong with you. Wanting certainty can be a very human response to feeling vulnerable or out of control.

The difficulty is that trying to eliminate all uncertainty can sometimes leave us feeling even more exhausted.

Not everything can be predicted. Not every question can be answered immediately. Not every possible outcome needs to be solved today.

The gentler question is:
“What do I know right now, and what can I take care of in this moment?”

You may not be able to control what happens next. But you can begin by noticing what you are carrying, allowing yourself to pause, and recognising that you don't have to have everything figured out at once.

Uncertainty is a normal part of life. Learning to tolerate not knowing everything immediately can create space for calmer, more intentional responses rather than constant attempts to predict or control every outcome.

16/10/2026

🌿It’s World Bones and Joints Week🌿

Your bones hold you up, your joints keep you moving, and your muscles help you do the things you love!

This World Bone and Joint Week, give your body the attention it deserves. 💪

💚 Keep moving – regular exercise helps maintain strong bones and flexible joints.

🥛 Eat well – calcium and vitamin D play an important role in bone health.

☀️ Get some sunshine – sensible sun exposure helps your body produce vitamin D.

🩺 Don’t ignore the aches – persistent joint pain, stiffness or swelling deserves attention.

If you are experiencing aches or pains, please contact a practitioner at the Addison Medical Centre - one place, every stage of life!

5 Addison Street
Empangeni
+27 35 772 1044

16/10/2026

Assessment can give answers on how best to support your child. I am very pleased and proud to offer comprehensive assessment in Empangeni and Richards Bay(Meerensee). Assessments are conducted in English.

16/10/2026

Such a fantastic congress. Loved every minute of presenting and interacting.