08/10/2026
TO AGREE OR TO DISAGREE?
I have been a Healer/Guide for a very long time. I have daily conversations with multiple people around me and the subject varies from personal relationships, career, emotional and mental health, self love, finances, energy, love, enemies, frenemies - you name it. People usually come to me to seek spiritual answers to problems that they have tried to solve with physical/worldly systems for a long time, but which failed to deliver the result they desired.
After getting to know people well, I often make recommendations and help them with blind spots in their life - it's what I get paid to do. Sometimes people take this advice to heart and create immense growth for and prosperity themselves, and sometimes, it creates a substantial backlash from the person. They may not have been ready to receive this observation. Reality is, this feedback comes from someone, who is genuinely trying to help them to have a better relationships (with themselves and others).
Here's the thing: why would one want to have a person in your life who is always going to agree with everything you say? What would be the point of that engagement? If someone close to you, like your Spiritual Guide, agreed with everything you said and never challenged you, how do you expect things in your life to change?
Behind this, lies a strategy of the negative ego, to preserve the wound. Friction will often catalyze a shift. Conflict is not necessarily a bad thing! If a spiritual guide simply continued to affirm a your current narrative, they are agreeing with the stagnation in your life. True guidance isn't the same as customer service - it is an initiation. Literally!
In ancient traditions, the Guide's role has never been to soothe the false self, but to hold a steady, constant mirror until the seeker can distinguish between their authentic essence and move away from their defensive patterns.
Your Spiritual Guide (or Healer/Therapist/Mentor) should disagree with you! If you tell them about your problems, circumstances, pains, heartaches, disappointments and status quo with your life - yes they can have empathy and sympathy for your cause. But in order to heal, they must hold up the mirror of potential for you to see that you are more than your circumstances and your pain. So that you can move beyond that. Not because they want to pretend that your pain doesn't exist, or that they don't really care about you, but because they are there to hold the space for you to grow past the pain and trauma, and into a place of personal empowerment and healing!
Your Spiritual Guide will often see your potential for growth and believe in your ability to overcome your obstacles, more than yourself!
Call my crazy, call me silly, call me tough, but in my opinion, most people in your life should disagree with you somewhat - otherwise what is the point of relationship? Do you want to live in a world where you just have little Mini Me's running around to relate to? How would we grow and move forward as humanity, if we all stuck to the same mould and pattern of thinking?
It is important to remember - someone disagreeing with you is not a threat, it is mostly not meant to be disrespectful of your view point either, it's just a different view point.
Just as you are entitled to your own view on a matter, so should others be able to have the freedom to have and express their view - otherwise that relationship will not survive. If you only want an audience of your view point, it can translate to seeking sympathy, rather than healing. If you are not willing to accept different view points to your own, you have to ask yourself, why is someone else's view or advice such a threat to your nervous system? One does not have to react negatively. You can simply thank the person for their viewpoint and move on. You don't have to make it personal.
Your Spiritual Guide should disagree with you from time to time! It is important to remember that it comes from a place of love. It comes from a place of wanting to see you grow. Often, they themselves have overcome immense obstacles, and they want to pass what they have learnt on so that more people can have a better future.
Just remember: It is easy to paint everyone around you with the brush of distrust if your childhood trauma involved adults who were not trustworthy. Think about how that have impacted your emotions, your relationship to authority, your nervous system and your choices. Not everyone who gives you feedback, is criticising you or trying to break you down. Sometimes the pill that is hard to swallow, is the one that will lead you to a better understanding of yourself! Getting a Spiritual Guide was one of the best investments of my life!
Love and Moonlight,
Leonie
