27/10/2026
🚦 𝗚𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗚 𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗦 | 𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗱-𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀.
You know those moments when a perfectly reasonable conversation suddenly turns into an argument? Or when you try and calm a situation down, but the more you talk, the worse it gets?
Sometimes the problem isn't *what* you're talking about. It's that someone's simply not in the right physical or mental space to have that conversation.
Being in a healthy relationship doesn't mean you'll never get overwhelmed, frustrated, irritated or just down right crabby!
But it 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 mean learning to recognise when that's happening - and having a plan on what to do when it does.
That's where our 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰 𝗟𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝘆 comes in.
🔴 𝗥𝗘𝗗 = 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗧 – We're too overwhelmed to talk productively. Stop, separate and give your nervous system time to settle.
🟠 𝗢𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗘 = 𝗣𝗔𝗨𝗦𝗘 – We're not quite in the right space for a 𝘣𝘪𝘨 talk just yet. Check in with what you might need before trying to tackle anything heavy.
🟢 𝗚𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗡 = 𝗖𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗥 – We're ready to talk, listen, understand each other and work out what happens next.
The important bits:
1) Everyone involved needs to agree to the rules ahead of time (including where the neutral space is for everyone, what the 'calm down' strategies look like, and how long the reset lasts before first check-in).
2) Anyone can call orange or red - and that includes the kids.
3) Taking a break is not the same as avoiding the conversation.
4) The agreement is that you come back to it when everyone is ready.
It's a simple approach, but one that can make a real difference to how couples and families handle those tricky conversations and moments.
Swipe through for the steps, and consider saving this one to work through together next time everyone's in green.
If you and your family could use some support building healthier ways to communicate, our team at 12 Points works with couples, parents, children and teens.
Link in bio.
𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦: 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘵, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳, 𝘤𝘰𝘦𝘳𝘤�
