09/18/2026
Anger came up in a session with a client this week, specifically how hard it can be to actually let ourselves feel it.
I think a lot of women have been taught that we shouldn’t be angry. Good girls don’t get angry, anger is negative, we should calm down or try to understand where the other person is coming from. So we push it down and tell ourselves we’re fine, except the anger doesn’t actually go anywhere.
We can only stuff it down for so long before it comes out and usually it’s at the wrong time or at someone who had nothing to do with why we were angry in the first place.
But anger is also telling us something and if we’re so quick to push it away, we don’t always get the chance to figure out what that is. Maybe a boundary was crossed or your feelings were hurt or maybe you're been putting up with something for too long. Or it could be your exhausted and have nothing left to give. And you know what, sometimes it's just I'm really freaking angry right now and I don’t know why yet?
Perimenopause has brought its own new level of anger into my life which sometimes leans more into rage. That's been a lot of fun! I've learned over the years to let myself actually feel whatever emotion comes up, even when it makes me uncomfortable.
We’re human and we’re going to experience all of the emotions, even the ones we’ve decided are bad or uncomfortable. So instead of always trying to silence your anger, sometimes you need to give yourself permission to be angry and find somewhere for it to go. Scream-sing, go for a run, try a rage room, scream into the void, whatever works for you.
And once you are on the other side of it ask yourself where this anger is coming from.
