29/09/2026
CRUCIAL GUIDANCE - 3
In the previous two posts I said that social media is full of ‘smoke and mirrors’, and as you can see I once held an accordion, but the truth is, I can’t play a note!
Now, I could tell you that I was a child prodigy and I’ve been playing for fifty years, or that I used to jam with the great man himself, Sir Jimmy Shand, but these would all be lies. Unfortunately, this is the world we live in now, where unscrupulous individuals can say what they want, to prey on people at their most vulnerable. Their goal is to rob them of their money!
I also said that therapists who use high velocity methods are playing the spine just like this accordion. They’re pulling it apart, only for it to naturally return to its compressed state, because it’s not the actual problem. These DIY ‘therapists’ use brutal methods that cause more harm than good!
It might make a noise, just like I can get some kind of racket out of this squeeze box, as air gets pushed and pulled across its internal reeds. The vertebral column also makes a noise, as dissolved gases in the fluid of our movable joints form and release a gas bubble 🫧
We’re all now aware of the danger that exists for people who use unqualified and inexperienced lookalikey chiros. These classroom dodgers have certificates that would have far more benefit in the stalls of a public toilet 🧻
As much as I’m probably the only therapist sharing awareness about it, I also know that every therapist, practitioner and healthcare professional is talking about it, and not in a good way!
I suppose I get it in a way, because if I needed to supplement my state pension, then yeah, I’m going to look for a way to do it. However, I feel confident that I’d be looking for something that doesn’t put others at risk. If you can’t treat your clients with dignity, then you’re in the wrong job!
There’s a bigger issue here than just one donut who received their soft tissue education from a massage gun instruction manual. The greater concern is that there’s no shortage of donuts. If one of them is doing it, then it gives the green light for others to follow, meaning it puts even more people at risk!
They’re easy to spot because they’ll be churning out multiple sensationalised videos. Trickery is the only way they can get people through their door. As for the rest of us, we just let it happen organically. I post less times in a year than these attention seekers post in a week!
Let’s keep it real, it’s no secret that I don’t believe in what licensed chiropractors do, never mind the unregulated fakers. I know that for the majority of people, spinal manipulation is ineffectual, risky and unnecessary!
It wouldn’t be enough for me, but if you want some kind of peace of mind before visiting one, make sure you check the General Chiropractic Council (GCC) website to see if they’re regulated.
Of course, these types of ‘therapists’ will claim that they’re not trying to be chiropractors, even though they use words like ‘chiropractic’ and ‘adjustment’ in their marketing nonsense. They also tell others that they’re working towards being a chiro. Which one is it? Confusing right?
It’s because they’re backtracking from previous lies and attempting to fall within the confines of the law, but they’re failing!
If someone were to make a complaint to the GCC, they can investigate and take action against ‘therapists’ who use words like ‘adjustment’ because this means they are implying that they’re posing as a chiropractor, no matter what they call themselves. Personally, I call them con artists!
You now know the risks of high velocity techniques, and some of these uneducated robbers use a method known as the “ring dinger”
The victim is clamped onto a table, then they get their head yanked on in the attempt to decompress the spinal column. However, if you’ve been reading my recent posts, then you know why this doesn’t work 🪗
This is high risk, and many medical professionals and orthopaedic surgeons advise against it. This is because sudden traction can cause severe injury!
When I first saw it years ago, it equally made me both laugh and cringe 😬 Let’s face it, this isn’t therapy, it’s a brutalisation! It made me laugh because its name works perfectly with our Scots language…
“ Awright Davie, have you seen the guy on the socials who sorts oot backs like he’s trying to pull the heed aff a chicken? “
“ Aye, he’s an absolute ring dinger “
Some individuals even claim they designed this torture table themselves, even though it’s patented. If they can lie about this, what else can they lie about?
Qualifications?
Insurance?
Here’s another term we use in our Scots language… they are qualified in HEE HAW!
Remember, I told you ONLINE certification does not qualify anyone for insurance, but that doesn’t mean you can’t buy generic insurance online. This WILL NOT benefit anyone at a time of need!
Even if you actually turned up for a couple of days of tokenistic training, this doesn’t count as a qualification. If you work in the industry, you know the difference between a qualification and a participation award. I’m not saying you shouldn’t get something for it, but I’m thinking more of a special sticker ⭐️ or maybe a lollipop if you’ve been a clever boy 🍭
I’ve already talked enough about safety and risk in the previous posts so I won’t dwell on it too much longer, but instead I want to address other issues related to these imposters…
I’ve had many conversations now with other remedial therapists who are quite rightly concerned about the possible influx of this new breed of bogus therapist!
If you’re a therapist and we haven’t met, then let me put your mind at ease…
Our clients and the customers of the phony bu****itters are not the same. Our clients can see through falsehoods and they will not put themselves at risk!
Okay, maybe a few of your more gullible clients will give it a bash, or a member of the ‘look at me’ brigade who just want to share a video. They’ll be back in your treatment room in no time once they’ve worked out that it’s doing absolutely nothing!
To be fair, there’s another group. I’m seeing more and more of them because they’ve realised that they’ve been conned. They feel cheated that they parted with a lot of money, only to find out it has zero benefit!
However, to put a positive spin on it, if all that’s happened is nothing 🤞🏻 then be thankful. If all that’s been dented is your bank account and your pride then put it behind you. This has to be better than a dent in your health because you were savvy enough to remove yourself from the scam. So be proud of that!
Actually, it’ll be interesting to see how it goes once local curiosity fades and the majority have discovered that it’s just hocus pocus. What they’ll need to do is widen their client search by inventing more social media bu****it!
Before you know it, you’ll see a video with Ludwig from Germany who has travelled to Fife for his ‘special’ treatment. However, it’s more likely to be the ‘therapists’ uncle from Dysart, dressed up in lederhosen…
“ So Ludwig, you’ve travelled all the way here to see me because I’m the best therapist in all of the land. Where about in Germany are you from? “
“ Aye I’m fae Dysart 😰 I mean, Ja, I come from Dysartstadt, and I want you to play my spine like an oompah band accordion during oktoberfest, cheers, I mean prost “ 🤦♂️
Okay, these videos make us laugh because they’re the therapy equivalent of a sitcom, except no one is winning any awards for best actor. Here’s a top tip for new therapists… don’t get involved in this kind of behaviour, you’ll just discredit yourself, and remember therapy is not a spectator sport. Of course, show what you do, but don’t have the people of facebook laughing at you!
Let’s be serious for a moment, and say it like it is, because I could talk about this topic all day…
These fraudsters DO NOT know how to assess!
Meaning they DO NOT know when it’s safe to use these ridiculous methods!
Assessing a body properly CANNOT be done in a few minutes!
Assessing a body IS NOT about writing down what a person says then subjecting the same pile of 💩 on everyone!
Do you need to be a qualified and experienced therapist to know that this is happening? - NO!
Eyes, ears, and the ability to think for yourself is all that’s required!
👀 👂 🧠