La Vie de Clauds

03/11/2026

Day threehundred&seven - today has been hard

I woke up exhausted this morning, feeling sick with anxiety through the roof. I got up just after 8, got showered, and slowly made a start on my daily bits.

I ran out of one of my daily meds yesterday. It's the only one I need to actually pick up from a pharmacy. I ordered my repeat last week, got it all sorted well in advance, but the pharmacy have been out of stock. I went back today and it still wasn't in, but they eventually managed to find a couple of packs to make up most of it. I'll go back next week, once this week is over, and hopefully be able to get the rest. Annoying, but all's well that ends well.

Leaving the house felt genuinely impossible this morning. It took literally everything in me to go to the pharmacy. Dunno how you explain that one to someone who doesn't get it. I'm bloody sick of having anxiety all the god damn time. I'm overwhelmed, overstimulated, and over this bullsh*t taking up every facet of my life. 3 more days to go 🙏

Anyway, got back home, had a meds switch, then got the dogs out for a (very cold!!) walk. I honestly didn't think I'd get them out today, so I'm glad I did. I then ticked off the rest of my daily bits and bobs, ending the day with everything done. It's been a while since I had all 5 ticked off in a day 😕

I then got a message off mum, asking if I was about for a cuppa this afternoon. I really wasn't feeling up for company, but I do always try to make time for the people I care about as much as I possibly can. I think we both needed that catch up 🩷

Now I'm officially done for the day. I'm drained. So, I'm gonna get cuddled up with my little loves, think about what to have for tea, and possibly crack on with some last-minute prep for Friday.
Today has been hard, but that's okay.

Pic of: collecting my prescription this morning 💊

03/11/2026

I haven't watched celebrity Traitors. I don't have a TV license😂 but, I've just watched this clip to see what this post was about. I feel for James; I'd have done the same thing in his shoes.

There's some really interesting comments on this post discussing masking and the autistic experience. For anyone genuinely interested in better understanding what it's like being autistic, I'd recommend checking out the comments.

Thanks to Adam Marsden for sharing this post with me!

The social media reaction to James Acaster’s roundtable confession on The Celebrity Traitors is a prime example of the intense pressure autistic people face just trying to get by day to day.

(Spoilers ahead)

After cracking under the immense(!) psychological weight of being a reluctant Traitor, James (who is openly autistic) chose to be totally honest, lay out his situation, and ask to be voted off the show.

As predicted, parts of the internet flooded with comments from people saying he "ruined the game" or that he simply shouldn't have been allowed on the show if he "couldn't handle the pressure".

But to look at an autistic person reaching their absolute limit and say, "Well, you just shouldn't be here then," is so so unfair.

It’s a hurtful, dismissive attitude our community faces constantly.

Every autistic person is an individual, so I’m 100% not making a blanket statement about how every single autistic person would react to that high-stress environment.

But for many of us, being forced into a position where you have to constantly lie, mask your true feelings, and navigate social manipulation is a massive trigger for intense anxiety.

When the backlash targets the individual for breaking down, it misplaces the blame.

As the Equality Act 2010 states, it is the responsibility of an organisation to identify and remove barriers to keep people well and enable them to take part.

It is not the sole responsibility of the individual to endlessly adapt and mask until they become distressed or unwell.

James did exactly what he had to do to protect his own well-being.

The producers stepped in, paused filming, and responded with proper safeguarding and welfare support, which is exactly what they are supposed to do.

Nothing was ruined, and it actually made for incredible television, right??!

But what I really hope is that the production teams and showrunners learn from this so they can better prevent participant stress in the future.

Crucially, doing that should mean creating a more accessible environment, never excluding autistic people from the show.
^Katie

02/11/2026

Day threehundred&six - by jingo, it's cold today 🥶

Welp, the final week is here. I was up, showered, and physically ready for 8am this morning. Mentally, it took me hell of a lot longer to get going. Today's not been great. Not terrible either, but not great. The rain didn't help!

I pottered this morning, getting the laundry done and the house put right (ish). I was really not feeling taking the dogs out today, but their needs come first, so when the sun put his hat on, we headed out for a walk. I stg at one point Lola ran after the ball so vigorously that her b***y had its own centre of balance separate to the rest of her being 😂 totally worth leaving the house just for that!

I've spent a lot of time up in my head today, thinking about so many random topics tbh hahah. I really enjoyed the comments on this morning's post; isn't language such a funny thing?

I'm not sure what I'm gonna do for the rest of the day, but, given that I'm cold as balls and it's miserable outside, I can guarantee that what ever it is will involve a fluffy layer of warmth in some capacity 🥶🥶

Pic of: my little loves being adorable as heck this morning after a good run around, taken moments before Lola dive-bombed me because obviously ATTENTION😂🐾

02/11/2026

Keepining the linguistic theme, why is WIGO not a thing?

'what is going on?'

Surely I'm not the only person that asks themself that a million times a day? Usually with a TF in the middle, if I'm honest, but WTFIGO doesn't have quite the same ring to it. That ring ain't sufficiently rung 😉

Given how abbreviations blew up at the start of texting — think: wuu2, brb, rofl, asl, lol — why is WIGO not in there?

I vote to bring wigo into the lexicon. Pronounced: wig-oh. Usage: when you just need to know what (tf) is going on 💯😂

02/11/2026

What is the past tense of 'wing it'?

After plating up tea yesterday, there was many bits to bring through from the kitchen. I had 4 pieces that I could somewhat easily carry through together, but I'd have struggled with the Yorkshire's. I could have made 2 trips, but, nah. I was gonna wing it.

Luckily, Jonny then came through to get some of his bits and had a free hand, so he got them and all was well...

Until I said "thanks! I would have had to have wung it otherwise".

"Wung?"

"Yeah, like I'd have had to wing it"

"Don't you mean winged then, not wung?"

But here's the thing, right: I had actually ran through all potential past-tense variations before landing on wung.

Wang? Wong? Winged? Je l'ai wingé?

Now, any readers are probably in Jonny's camp here. Winged, right? But I don't think that's right. It doesn't feel right. At least, not to me. It feels 'too American'.

Like, spell -> spelled (US) -> spelt (British), or dream -> dreamed (US) -> dreamt (British).

This has really blagged my head, if I'm being totally honest. So, dear Facebook family, what is the past tense of 'wing it'? Winged? Wung? Wang? Something else?

Please, for the love of all things holey, can someone step in here and clear this up for me?😂

01/11/2026

Day threehundred&five - The Last Supper 🐷

Happy first of November! I cannot stress enough just how relieved I am that November is here! Today is the very last Sunday I need to 'get through'. By Friday, I'll know for certain whether it's over or we're going all the way to court. I'm genuinely fine with either option; my biggest issue is the unknown. Knowing it's now less than a week to wait brings a much needed huge sense of relief!

And honestly? It's been a great Sunday! (albeit very wet & miserable)

I've spent most of today in the kitchen, slow-cooking a huge joint of pork and getting everything else prepped to cook later — including brownies for pud!😋

Mid-afternoon, my friend Annalice joined me for a trip up to the stables to meet Belle! A really gorgeous couple of hours catching up, cuddling ponies and putting the world to rights!

I always switch Belle over to her winter routine around 1st November as I like her in on a night and settled into her new routine before bonfire night hits, so today marks our official start of Winter 😭 I'll be honest, I'm not ready for winter at all! Thank god there's people who have my back — it really does take a village! 🩷

Now I'm back home, the pork is done, brownies are ready, and I've got the Yorkshire's and roasties in the oven. I cannot wait for this food; it really does feel like a 'last supper' of sorts lol

A great end to a genuinely lovely day!

Pic of: me, Belle and Annalice this afternoon ❤️‍🩹

31/10/2026

Day onehundred&four - Happy Halloween 🎃

Today's been nice. A slow-paced morning, popping to the chemist and Sainsbury's before getting the dogs out for a good walk.

This afternoon, Jonny and I have carved our pumpkins — my favourite part of Halloween! I'll be honest, I did not have high hopes going into it. I've said before, my crafts are hit and miss; pumpkin carving is NOT my forté🙈 nonetheless, I'm buzzing with this year's effort! Even Jonny crowned me this year's winner 😂

Pic of: pumpkins 🎃 check out the reel I've just posted for a full 360° of mine — it's filled with horrors 😱

31/10/2026

Spooky season 😱

31/10/2026

When I sit back and think about it, I get absolutely baffled by the current state of politics and the quality of politicians were seeing — inc. on a global scale.

I mean, it wasn't that long ago that we would hold them accountable for something as simple as eating a bacon sarny the wrong way.

Now? We've got MP's actively advocating for (and some, frankly bragging about) causing harm towards women, disabled people and minorities; a sex-predator (inc. children ffs) is the president of the US; the rich are getting richer while everyone else is left to starve, and life is objectively getting harder for all of us because of their choices.

HOW?!? How have we gone from bacon sarnies to literal sex-offenders in a decade without anyone really caring to notice???? It's absolutely baffling.

30/10/2026

Day threehundred&three - a good dose of Friday positivity ☀️

We stayed up late last night watching a movie — The Aviator, I was hooked! Great depiction imo of life with OCD — so I was pretty surprised that I was up and about for half 7 again this morning.

I didn't have any appointments or anything I needed to do today, so I kinda let this morning's anxiety just do it's thing without much pressure. I had a slow start enjoying the morning peace in the garden, then got the dogs out for a walk nice and early.

Not long after getting home, I got a call from Middlesbrough Council's crisis resilience fund team, after submitting an application 5 weeks ago. We had a good chat about what's what, and left it with him saying they'd be in touch. I wasn't expecting a call an hour later offering some help!🙏

This afternoon, I'm making a start on preparing for next week's hearing. Exactly a week from now as I write this, I'll be joining the most important meeting of my life. No pressure. All good. 😐

I've printed off the, ahem, 'mini' bundle (~200 pages looks way more than it sounds!) and got it all filed away in a binder (inc. today's menty b over not being able to find my hole punch 🙈). Over the next few days I'm gonna read through it all as is and build my notes for the hearing😶‍🌫️ Fun times. So, I'm gonna crack on with that for a couple of hours now and see how far I get.

Pic of: Lola this morning after we got up, enjoying being tucked up like the princess she is 😂🥰

(I promise she is a happy dog, her wrinkles and eye-liner just make her look depressed 😂)