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Your geeky guide to the narcissists games 🃏 🤓
30+ yrs lived experience + trauma wisdom
✨ Come for the answers, Stay for the cheek😊
🤪👾👻🎬🦹🤭💿🕹️📼🦸

28/10/2026

Are you falling in love with their potential rather than the person you're actually experiencing? 💔

Hi everyone 🤗,

One of the hardest things about narcissistic abuse is letting go of the future you imagined with someone.

You might remember the beautiful moments, clinging to the promises and keep hoping the person you fell in love with, will finally become the person you needed them to be.

But it's worth remembering, you can love someone, understand their pain and recognise their potential, without sacrificing your own wellbeing to rescue them.

You don't have to hate someone to choose yourself and you don't have to wait until you're completely broken to decide that enough is enough.

Please don't wait till you are at rock bottom or broken before you decide to make the changes you need, i did wait and believe me i paid heavily for it.......

Your future deserves more than a lifetime spent waiting for someone else's potential to become your reality. ❤️

Love Jane 💖 your Trauma Geek

💜 If this helped you understand what you've been through, follow Trauma Geek for clear, trauma-informed explanations that help make sense of narcissistic abuse

26/10/2026

"Nobody warned me that healing from narcissistic abuse would involve grieving SO much.”

Hi everyone 🤗,

You need to know this. ❤️

One of the hardest things about healing from narcissistic abuse is the grief and honestly? I've come to hate it.

Because it's not just about the person or relationship you lost. It's grieving EVERYTHING.

The loved ones, friends and pets you've lost. The future you dreamed of. The children turned against you. The health that suffered. The person you were before the abuse and the YEARS spent surviving something you never deserved.

You can't simply wave a magic wand and get those years back. (Believe me, if I had one, I'd have worn that thing out by now!)

Also grief doesn't politely knock on the door, wait for an invitation and arrive when you're ready.
It can hit you out of nowhere, just when you think you're finally finding your feet.

You can be making progress, finding yourself again and building a new life and STILL grieve what you've lost.

That doesn't mean you're failing at healing though.

It means those losses mattered. YOU mattered and you deserved so much better.

We can't change what happened and we can't reclaim every lost year, but we can learn to give ourselves the compassion we should have received all along.

If you're grieving everything narcissistic abuse took from you, REMEMBER you're not weak, you're not going backwards and you are absolutely not alone. ❤️

Sending you the biggest hug. from one human being to another.

Love Jane 💖 your Trauma Geek .

💛 Follow for simple, trauma informed insights that help you to understand narcissistic abuse, calm your nervous system and reclaim your life.

21/10/2026

"Healing doesn't just change your relationship with your abuser... it changes every relationship that depended on you abandoning yourself.”

Hi everyone 👋😃,

One of the most painful parts of recovery is realising that some of your friendships only worked because you over gave, over explained, over forgave and accepted far less than you deserved.

Healthy people and especially your friends and family, shouldn't punish you for having boundaries. They may need time to adjust, which is perfectly reasonable, but they will respect your newly installed boundaries.

Those who become angry, guilt trip you, or quietly disappear, aren't reacting to your boundaries, they're reacting to losing the benefits they received, when you didn't have any.

It's absolutely heartbreaking and makes you realise the friendship you once had, wasn't really worth anything at all, but it's also a sign that you're no longer betraying yourself, just to keep the peace.

The people meant for this next chapter of your life and healing journey, won't need you to shrink in order to stay, they will support you, cheer for you and celebrate every achievement you make and fill your life with joy.

Follow for a clear, compassionate take on narcissistic abuse, trauma bonds, nervous system healing, and rebuilding yourself after emotional abuse 🩷🧡💛.

Love Jane 💖 your Trauma Geek x

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